Understanding the Realities of Diagnosed Narcissists: Moving Past the Stigma.

Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “detached from reality”, he explains. You feel invincible and you tell yourself, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are usually succeeded by a “sudden low”, during which he feels deeply emotional and ashamed about his actions, leaving him especially susceptible to disapproval from those around him. He first suspected he might have this personality condition after investigating his behaviors through digital sources – and was later evaluated by a clinician. But, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis if he hadn’t already reached that conclusion personally. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they harbor feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they made for themselves. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Although people have been labelled as narcissists for more than a century, it’s not always clear what people refer to as the term. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” says a psychology professor, who believes the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he believes many people conceal it, because of so much stigma linked to the disorder. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to enhance their social status through actions such as displaying material goods,” the professor explains. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in The Disorder

Although a significant majority of people found to have the condition are males, research suggests this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that female narcissism is frequently manifests in the covert form, which is less commonly diagnosed. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be somewhat tolerated, just kind of like everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who shares content on her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on social media. Frequently, the two disorders appear together.

First-Hand Experiences

“I really struggle with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she shares, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to self-protection or I completely shut down.” Despite having this behavior – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her support system, as she aims to avoid falling into the damaging patterns of her previous life. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners as a teenager,” she admits. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her significant other “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, when I use toxic language, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mainly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures during development. It’s been a process of understanding continuously which behaviors are acceptable versus unacceptable to say in conflicts because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she comments. Every insult was fair game when my household were belittling me during my childhood.”

Origins of Narcissistic Traits

Conditions like NPD tend to be linked to childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” notes a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “linked to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to manage during childhood”, he continues, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “persist in applying those familiar tactics as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The adult shares when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve high marks and career success, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “acceptable.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships were successful. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t forming deep connections, until he met his current partner of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, like him, finds it hard to manage mood stability. She is “very supportive of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he says – it was in fact, her who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Subsequent to a consultation to his doctor, he was directed to a therapist for an evaluation and was told his diagnosis. He has been put forward for psychological counseling on the public health system (ongoing counseling is the primary approach that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for a year and a half: “They said it is likely to occur early next year.”

John has only told a handful of people about his condition, because “there’s a big stigma that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, personally, he has come to terms with it. “It helps me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he comments. Each individual have acknowledged their condition and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the condition. But the growth of individuals sharing their stories and the rise of online support communities suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number